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Know yourself as Rachel

In shock, you stare wide-eyed at the mirror and the pretty, black-haired, brown-eyed girl that looks back at you. Rachel -you- is quite pretty, with soft eyes and hair reaching your back, but this is (understandably) of little comfort.

You are snapped out of your thoughts as the same woman calls to you again. "Rachel! Hurry up and get ready now or you'll be late!" Quickly realizing, you leave the bathroom to get dressed.

Without even thinking about it, you quickly change from your nightclothes into a gray shirt and white skirt. It is only once you're completely dressed that you catch yourself, realizing what you were doing. Getting dressed as a girl had required no thought at all; the difference(s) between getting dressed as a girl and as a guy hadn't troubled you in the slightest, or even crossed your mind at all. You were completely in control of yourself the entire time, of course, you just did it as if it were perfectly natural, as if you'd been doing it all your life.

For some reason you ignore this for now and, deliberately ignoring the cosmetics in your bathroom (which you assume would have used had you not caught yourself), you head downstairs.

Your mind is consumed in confusion and fear and you just follow along in a daze as the woman who called you before ushers you onto the bus (Since Rachel-you is fourteen, of course there would be school). You remain in a daze through the entire ride, your mind spinning. By the time the bus reaches the school, though, you have calmed enough to gain control of your thoughts and think things through.

Trying to think calmly, you remember to when you woke up. You remember immediately recognizing 'Rachel' as yourself, recognizing your room, how getting dressed as a girl had been completely natural. Trying to think of how this could be, you find that not only do you recognize the name 'Rachel' as your own, but that, to your fear, you actually think of your name as Rachel. You know you used to be a guy, but somehow you can only honestly think of yourself as Rachel, and in fact cannot even remember your old name. Nervously, you bite your lip and tighten your grip on the hem of your skirt. It is comforting, however, that aside from your self-image, your mind remains almost completely untouched. You still think like yourself; you are not at all thinking like the way you would expect a teenage girl to think.

You shake your head, putting these thoughts of out of your mind. Exhibiting surprising clarity for the situation (your panic having run its course faster than one might think) you take solace that although you only know yourself to be Rachel (because you are) you are still you in mind and personality, and every way that still matters (and instinctively knowing and recognizing your new identity is best considering that you are Rachel)

Written by The Nameless

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