A Second Opinion

You take a deep breath and force yourself to relax. "I'm okay now, Fred," you sigh at last. "I'm okay."

"Good," sniffs Fred. "Now, let's review the facts." Fred begins pacing back and forth. "First, Raffles injected you with some potion that turned you into a standard, four-footed hippo. Then you went on a feeding frenzy. That made you fatter, of course, but it also transformed you into an anthropomorphic hippo. Then you swallowed an entire bottle of so-called diet pills -- which was just plain stupid, if you ask me -- and you became much fatter. Finally, I bit you, which transformed you into a werewolf but didn't get rid of your excess weight."

Fred suddenly stops pacing and shakes his head with a frown. "Whoa, this is way too complicated for me," he whines. "We need to consult an expert."

Your ears perk up. "An expert?" you gasp. "Who?"

"I have a friend who might be able to help," Fred answers. "Would you like to meet her?"

Written by Funny Animal (edited by phaedrus)

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