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The Gods appreciate irony too, y'know.

Another bottle of those damned pills! You are tempted to hurl them away before they can do any more damage, but before you can move you're pushed through a set of double doors into a huge room.

From the lavish furnishings, carpets and massive oak table you take this to be a dining room. With a difference. There is only one chair, at the head of the table, and the enormous silver plate in the middle is bare. The people pushing you stop, and you are (eventually) dumped unceremoniously onto the plate, still clutching the bottle. They leave, not bothering to tie you up. You guess that they don't think it matters, given your size. You absently spill the pills into your hand, counting them; 13. Just then, a shadow falls over you.

The lion chuckles nastily at you. He's wearing an old faded red dressing gown over a pair of boxer shorts. He notices you staring; "Wouldn't want to stretch my best clothes now, would we?" he said. "Mind you, after this I'll probably go up a few sizes anyway." He strolls over to the door, and casually locks it. "We won't be disturbed now." He suddenly rushes at you and leaps...

You scream!

...When it becomes apparent that you aren't being torn to shreds, you open your eyes to see the lion on your belly! He grins evilly. "Just getting the adrenalin going" he growls, "scared meat tastes best!" He insolently grabs a double handful of your gut and squeezes. "Mmmn, mmm, I'm going to enjoy this!" he growls, and he leans forward to take a bite out of your neck.

Unable to stand it, you reflexively lash out, and shove the pills...


Written by an anonymous author (edited by wanderer)

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