Only the Beginning

"What the heck," you mutter, more to yourself than the menagerie surrounding you. "If I have to change, I'd like to be a werequagga, if only to honour an animal that deserves more exposure."

Your wife and the children roll their eyes, but the existing werequagga in the room is thrilled. "Finally, my species can be replenished!" she squeals.

The werequagga stretches her neck to bite you, but your wife intervenes. "Hold it, Easy Rider," she demands. "I see that look in your eyes, and I'm not about to let you bite my husband. Even if it means that he has to stay human, at least he'll be my human mate, for richer or for poorer, and all of that jazz."

You protest. "Carol, has it occurred to you that I might really want to be a werequagga? This is my decision to make, since you forced me into it."

Your wife bursts into tears, but everything is under control. During the argument, the werenewt and the werevole departed in search of your celebrity neighbour, Judge Judy. Vaccinated against all forms of the shapeshifter virus, she arrives at your house to settle your dispute.

Written by Joey Liverwurst

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