Gentle Persuasion

Scene up on you and your sweetie in your living room. On the coffee table, the Gator-Aid. In your hands, the lagoon crystals. (I mean, hey, screw swamps... way too many mosquitos.)

"Are you sure, sweetie?" your wife says.

"Frick yeah!" you reply. You take the sixer of Gator Aid, give 'em a twist, a flick of the wrist, and chug 'em down! In a huge, scaly explosion your face rockets out toward the ceiling and your tail rockets back to the floor. So large of a gator are you that your limbs don't *shrink* and get stubby... nay, your arms actually *lengthen* to match your legs. A massive, hissing gator is what you have become!

Your wife throws her hand against her head. "I just can't do it!" She says. "That looked really weird, guy..."

"Oh, you'll do it," chimes in a voice.

A-HWHaaaaat?

Your doorway explodes and there are three ninjas... WITH BAZOOKAS! Your wife screams girlishly.

"The Master's plans will continue!" a ninja cries. "Now DRINK THE GATOR-AID, WOMAN!" As she does so, one ninja fires the bazooka behind him at your neighbor's house. It explodes into a leafy green forest. A woozy grizzly stumbles out saying "der... wha?"

With a snap, crackle and pop, your wife is a supa-fine gator. The ninjas bonk you on the head with the crystals and then they all go. OK, now imagine the most BEAUTIFUL lagoon you can think of, at sunset. Go on, take maybe twenty seconds. ... Really do it. ... Ok, that's where you two are. It's quite... romantic... mmm, yeah... "romantic..."

With both of you now very much in the mood, you splash into the crystal clear water to find a convenient private spot. Things are looking good for you as you near

THE semi-solid END

Written by Mr.Peaches

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