A Bit Too Much of a Day Out....

Shouldn't spend all day in a burger joint, you decide. Smiling, you walk up to the counter, order one more double-cheese veggie burger with extra fries, and refill your mega cola while you wait. You grab the bag (and just a few fries for yourself, while you're at it), and walk further down the road to the park.

"This looks like a good place to have my burger," you think, and sit on a loudly-protesting bench. "I can get a bit of funnel cake from the cart over there after," you decide, as you bite into your greasy vegetable patty. "And then there's that new ice cream shop at the mall...."

Around 7, you walk towards your house, cheerily eating the last bag of fried twinkies from the stand by the stadium. "It was nice walking about town today," you think to yourself. "I should take time off more often." As you reach your door, you dive in your pocket for the key.

"Urf!" you think. "They make pants pockets so tight these days. I ought to file a complaint." Finally, you wriggle the key out, open the door, step forward...

...and bounce off. Surprised ("I fit through this morning...."), you look at yourself.

Your gut swells and sags before you like a sack of potatoes, flowing completely out of your pants and shirt. Vague memories of loosening your suspenders spring to mind, and you find suddenly that they are already at their longest, and still stretched to the limit. Looking up at the door, you realize you've somehow laid so much lard on your waist that you're twice the width of its opening, and even thicker front to back. What will you do now?

Written by Robin Z

Try to squeeze through

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