Excuse Yourself

"Could you please tell me where the bathroom is?" you ask Fred.

"Oh, do you need to be let out?" he wonders aloud.

"No, I just wanted to wash up. You do have one of those things with a . . . with a faucet, don't you?"

"Sure! Just go down that hallway."

You trot off to the bathroom, your eyes adjusting little by little to the darkness. You hardly need the light when you get there, but you turn it on anyway, flipping the switch with your teeth. Long incisors can be very handy around the house.

You look in the mirror but see nothing strange. Your fur doesn't even seem tangled, but you decide to smooth it down, anyway. First, though, you wriggle out of that odd net around your waist. How did it get there in the first place? No matter. You rid yourself of it in no time and feel better immediately.

"Everything all right?" Fred calls from the den.

"Yes," you shout back. You give yourself a good shake and return to the den.

Written by Joey Liverwurst

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