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React Abnormally

"I must be a werewolf!" you think, and you jump for joy. You try to flex all the muscles in your body, and your shirt rips very conspicuously in five places. Your pants rip as well, but you remain decent. You throw back your head and howl, and as you let out the fearsome noise, you feel a muzzle extending from your face, with long, sharp teeth emerging from your gums and whiskers growing to line the edges of your mouth. You curl your fingers for effect, and before your brightening eyes, your fingernails curl and sharpen horribly. What luck! You're finally getting your birthday wish from twenty years prior. You run through the house, whooping and hollering, without regard to where you are going or why. Suddenly, a low voice calls you back to reality, such as it is:

"Could you keep it down?" asks a youthful manticore. He is sitting on his haunches at the edge of the library, playing chess with an alluring dryad. She moves a red bishop and then looks up at you.

"Just what we need," she sighs; "another werewolf." You are greatly offended.


Written by Joey Liverwurst

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