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A Predictably Stupid New Development

"Hey, wait up!" yells a boy not far behind you. You stop, and he playfully hits you in the gut. "You're not too cool to be seen with a loser like me, now, are you?" he asks.

You shake your head, grateful to find someone you can follow until you get the hang of this. "I guess we should go on to German class," he groans, and you decide to take his word for it. You actually never took German in high school, but you learned a little in college. It gets you through the class without any problem, and the teacher even seems impressed. "Sehr gut gemacht!" she tells you in response to your delivery of a poem auf Schweizerdeutsch. You blush.

You still have not learned your friend's name when the bell rings. "I guess I'll see you after Accounting," he laments. "I wish I had Gym this period." Another clue!

You report to the multi-purpose room, as it is called, where a coach greets you. Technically, "greets" is not the word.

"All right, you losers," the grubby little man yells at everyone. "Get in the locker room and change, and make it snappy!" The other boys and girls make two beelines for the locker rooms, and you follow their example, so as not to draw attention. You pray that you have a uniform in there somewhere.

Each of the boys takes a seat on one of the benches and removes his shoes and socks. All but a few boys remove their shirts, as well. Strangely, no one seems to be reaching for any other clothing, instead remaining still to do some sort of weird calisthenics. All of a sudden, you notice how hairy and abnormally muscular everyone is. You rub your eyes, but when you look again, everyone seems hairier still. The boy to your right has a full beard and moustache, and even his hands appear . . . furry. Suddenly, you hear the crack of bone, followed by more cracks. Everyone else's back is reshaping, and arms and legs are quick to follow. You are surrounded by werewolves!


Written by Joey Liverwurst

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