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Bad Call, Buddy Boy

"Jason, could we get something to eat?" you ask. "Some french fries, maybe?"

The question earns you a dirty look. "I'm trying to save your skin," Jason snarls. "Are you really so hungry that it's worth risking your life?"

At that exact moment, your stomach rumbles. You probably could live without a snack, but how could fifteen minutes make a big difference? You have at least until sundown to find a hiding place, and Jason seems like a big worry wart, anyhow. "Couldn't we just go inside that café for a minute?" you plead. "I can order something to go."

Jason sighs and turns in the direction of the café. "I have a bad feeling about this," he warns, "but if anything happens, it won't be my fault."

You enter the café and are directed to a table in the corner. "Do you know what you want?" snaps the waitress.

"How about a hamburger?" you suggest.

"How do you want it?"

"Cooked medium well, please."

Jason turns ashen, and the waitress demands that you repeat your order. Before you can, though, a group of kids from the other side of the room comes over to your table. "What do we have here?" asks a burly sixteen-year-old in work clothes.

Jason steps in front of you. "This is my friend the biologist," he announces. "He works on a ranch and studies human beings, and that's why he smells funny. He came in here to get lunch for his herd."

The burly sixteen-year-old shoves Jason to the floor. "Don't give me no bologna," he orders. "I think it's party time!" Having said that, he shoots you a lean and hungry look.


Written by Joey Liverwurst (edited by phaedrus)

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