It speaks!

You hide in a grove of trees by the lake. No-one is around at the moment, so you decide to test out your new toy. You pick up a rock and enter in the command, 'TURN STONE TO GOLD'. The word 'Busy...' blinks on the screen, and then the gizmo actually starts to talk!

"You sure you want me to do that?" You drop the little machine with a yelp, and it shouts at you, "Hey! Watch the paint job bucko!"

You cautiously approach it and pick it up. "You talk?" you ask.

"Of course not," it grumbles sarcastically, "I sing and dance, like a monkey. _Of course I talk_! I need to be able to understand the way a human thinks in order to understand the commands they give. A normal computer doesn't _know_ what a 'skirt' is. Speaking of which, smooth move back at the mall."

You blush. "Say, err, why didn't you um-" you begin to stutter.

The talking computer replies, "If you went on a gold making spree, you'd ruin the economy. The rarity of gold is what gives it its value, you know. Start making gold left and right, everything in Fort Knox would be just a lot of lumps of useless metal."

"Okay, okay, I get the point," you mutter, "Then what am I supposed to do with you?"

"... Use me on yourself?"

Written by Sigil

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