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Sage about sage

Before you and Mark set off, the two of you decide that it might be a good idea to look for some kind of weapon. You both cast your eyes about. Then your eyes are drawn to a damaged sage bush. Two large clumps of the bush have broken off. Curiously, both clumps seem, by a slight stretch of fancy, to resemble feather dusters. As there doesn't seem to be anything else which would make an acceptable weapon anywhere in view, you and Mark pick up the clumps of bush and head off into the jungle.

You're guided along the way by a distant sound of laughter that grows alternately louder and softer as you take right and wrong turns on your way. Your weapons come in handy. Some brush moles attack from underground and some tickle vines from above, but each time either you or Mark is able to wield a sage brush in defence. At the first defensive tickle of your brushes, all your attackers retreat immediately.

Finally you come to a clearing with a pointing signpost reading, GIGGLEFRUIT TREE. Mark signals to you that someone else is approaching the tree. The two of you draw back and watch as the stranger approaches the tree, which appears to be perfectly normal and inanimate.

The stranger stands under the tree and looks around carefully, as if he expects danger. Not spotting anything suspicious, he reaches for a piece of low-lying fruit in a branch. The tree then springs to life. Branches grab the stranger, render him immobile, force him to the ground, and then appear to be tickling him. The stranger struggles for a moment, then bursts out laughing. You hear his laughter become continuous and grow louder. It could be just your imagination, but you'd almost swear that it sounds like the laughter of a creature without a soul. Then after enduring about ten minutes of tickle torture, the stranger transforms into a hyena and runs off somewhere. The tree immediately resumes an inanimate posture.

You and Mark have a whispered conversation. Though it's very dangerous, you decide you have to go through with it, and formulate a plan to catch the tree in an ambush. The only question is which of you will be the bait and which will conduct the amubsh. The two of you agree that you will go first.

You step forward into the clearing and approach the tree. Maybe the scene you just beheld has influenced you, but you think that you can detect some sign of awareness of your approach in the tree. Out of the corner of your eye you notice Mark, who has taken your bit of bush as well as his own, slinking off in a roundabout direction. You ignore him and approach the tree directly. By the time you stand under it, you're convinced that you have its complete attention.

As you reach up and touch a piece of fruit, the tree comes alive again. Even knowing what's going to happen, you are completely shocked as the tree's branches reach out and trap your arms and legs. Although you struggle mightily, you soon find yourself unable to move. Gradually the tree forces you to the ground. Still immobile, you feel the branches begin to move across your torso, up and down your sides, along your legs and feet, and into the hollows under your arms. You're amazed to realize how much it TICKLES! You shout at the tree and try to move, but it just seems to hold you faster and the tickling of the branches increases. As the branches move along your exposed skin, they make a scratching sort of noise that takes on the quality of a whisper. Some whisper, "Kitchy-kitchy-kitchy," some, "Tickle-tickle-tickle," and some, "Laugh, intruder, laugh!"

Amazed, you notice that this tickles more than anything else you've undergone all day! As hard as you were determined to fight it, you can't stop yourself from bursting into uncolntrollable laughter. "HAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!! HOHOHOHOHOHH!!! HEEHEEHEEHEEHEEEEEEEEE!!!" you shriek. Something funny seems to be happening to you, but you can just make out that Mark has snuck up on the tree as it's concentrated on tickling you. As you continue to howl helplessly with laughter, the last thing you can see before your eyes force themselves shut is Mark thrusting his bits of bush into the tree and rubbing them wildly along its trunk and into the hollows at the branches. As you feel a huge wave of hysteria overtaking you, you think to yourself that this plan had better work because you're just about to lose it completely...


Written by stephan

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