Before and After

How can you turn down an offer like that? "I'm your man ... er, hippo," you tell Jake. "Let's do it!"

"That's the spirit!" exclaims Jake, clapping you on the shoulder. "Just remember: you must do exactly as I tell you."

Jake's program involves lots of swimming and a strict vegetarian diet. You grumble at first, but you quickly adjust to your new regimen. After all, hippos spend most of their time in the water anyway, and they are vegetarians.

Slowly at first, then faster and faster, your flab begins to melt away. After two months it is nearly all gone, and Jake adds weight training to your program. By the fourth month your muscles are beginning to show, and by the sixth month you are totally buff!

"Not bad," you think, admiring your new physique in the mirror. Sure, you're still an anthropomorphic hippo, but now you're a lean, mean anthropomorphic hippo.

Written by Funny Animal

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Illustration by Funny Animal