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"Hey, thanks," the wolf says. "I'm Fred Jacobsen. I live a block south of here. Nice to meet you." He licks your hand.

You're at something of a loss for a response.

"Anyway... this is really embarrassing... I just got home, I was just bringing the groceries up the front steps, and the next thing you know, poof, I'm a wolf. Weirdest thing, huh? And me with a dentist appointment in the morning." He takes a few token sniffs of your crotch.

"That's... a real shame," you manage.

"Oh, well, these things happen. Live and learn, you know? Well, I dropped the groceries, of course; eggs and yogurt all over the place... awful mess. Well, at least it wasn't a total loss; the hot dogs weren't bad at all, actually." The wolf licks its chops; you stay very still. "Anyway, the problem is, I can't get the damn door unlocked. Frustrating as heck; I finally got the key in the lock, but turning the darn thing... it just isn't happening. Anyway, if you could just open the door, I'd really appreciate it. You're welcome to help yourself to the rest of the groceries; I don't think the Ben & Jerry's has melted yet..."

Written by Phaedrus

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