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Confusing, isn't it?

"Yes, you're right", you say in sudden inspiration. "You did say action!"

"So tell me Fred," you begin "What do you think is the status of the floating continent of Irony?"

Fred, not missing a beat, immediately continues the conversation about nothing. "I think that they're economically sound. Especially since they've been developing new anti-gravity shoes, and are full members in the colony of under ground apes that live in the White House."

"Yeah, that's my thought exactly. Their green hair seems to be the main source of power, especially in Ironic, the small sub-continent of Irony," you concur. "In other news let's discuss the dispy hemdraggles of Madagascar."

"I've been waiting for you to bring that up", Fred says. "I LIVE IN YOUR FISHTANK! I'm stalkin' you boy!" Fred then calmly clears his throat and continues "The dipsy hemdraggles pose a clear threat to nuclear winter in the south east poles, but Captain Cuban Hand seems to be keeping that carefully under wraps. I intend to find out just what he's up to, some day!"

Just then Lengths breaks in, "What do you think you're doing? This is SUPPOSED to be a show about the Stock Market!!!!!!", he screams. "My ratings are falling faster than I can compensate! Start talking stock NOW!!!!!!!!"

You dumbly look up for a moment, then lower your head and slighty cock it to the left with a perplexed expression on it. "Well that was certainly rude, now wasn't it?" you say to Fred.

"Quite so. I do believe the old chap needs to calm down a bit. Now where were we? Ah yes... now I remember!" Fred says as he stands up and draws his lightsaber. "You go squash now!" Fred screams as he lunges at you.

You quickly draw your lightsaber and block his blow, then quickly counter with your own. He parries the riposte and then returns with another. The two of you continue to fight like that for several minutes, knocking over assorted household paraphenalia, as you fight through the house.

Suddenly Fred catches you off balance with a strong swing, and your lightsaber is knocked away. All the while, Lengths is screaming his head off threatening you and pleading to return to talking about stocks.

Then, as Fred draws closer to you with his lightsaber leveled at your throat, you think of five things that can save you.

Written by Curb-E (edited by wanderer)

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