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Switcheroo

"Not so fast!" bellows Lengths. "I decided that Katherine Helmond is not famous enough among children to portray the grandmother. If this were a 1980s cartoon, I might feel otherwise. Anyhow, the part has been recast, and I expect Agnes Moorehead to arrive any moment."

The little girl frowns. "Is she still alive?" she asks. A thunderclap shakes the set, even though no lightning bolt ever appears.

"Don't be impertinent!" screams Lengths. "One more peep out of you, and I'll turn you into Chicken Little. Got it?" In the background, Dick Van Dyke can be heard attempting a plea bargain, but no one is listening.


Written by Joey Liverwurst

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