Game 3Game 3 Outline| Game 3 |
Game 3 Outline |
(Yeah, I know I copied this story from an old joke. So sue me.)
“Whoa, where am I?” you wonder out loud. “And how did I get here?” You turn around several times, staring intently, but there is no sign of the castle anywhere.
“Well, standing out here by myself isn’t going to answer any of my questions,” you think. “Maybe there’s someone at the farmhouse who can help me. I just hope they won’t be freaked out by a giant talking bull.” So thinking, you amble towards the buildings in the distance.
As you approach the cows, they stop their grazing to look you over. Some of them moo appreciatively as you pass. You get the distinct impression that they are admiring you. “Well, why not?” you think. “After all, they’ve probably never seen such a prime example of bovine masculinity in their lives.” On a whim, you stop for a moment and flex some of your outrageously overgrown muscles. The entire herd of cows moos it approval. “Heh, I still got it,” you smirk to yourself before continuing on toward the farmhouse.
As you pass by the barn, you hear low voices coming from inside. “Ah, maybe these guys can help me,” you think, turning toward the bright red structure. Before barging in, however, you decide to peek into the barn through a knot hole, just so you’ll know who you’re dealing with. You are astounded to find that there no people inside, only three other bulls. What’s more astounding is that you can understand what they’re saying to each other. Standing still and quiet, you eavesdrop on their conversation.
The first bull is a big burly fellow (but nowhere near as big as you). “Have you heard the news?” the first bull says to the other two. “The farmer has bought a new bull. And he’s arriving today. Now, we all know that half the cows on this farm are mine. I’m telling you right now, the new guy’s not getting ANY of my cows. Not one! So you two be ready to lose some of yours.”
“No way!” says the second bull, an average-sized specimen. “A third of the cows here are mine. And I’m not giving up any of mine, either!”
“Neither am I!” says the third bull, a small scrawny thing. “I have only a few cows of my own, and I’m not giving a single one to the new guy. So there!”
“What a bunch of blowhards!” you think to yourself. “Oh, well, maybe I can get some useful information from them.” With that, you wander into the barn and approach the three boastful bulls from behind.
“Excuse me,” you begin in a booming voice, “but I’m new here, and I was wondering if you guys could help me with something.”
The three bulls turn around and stare at you, wide-eyed and slack-jawed. Then they back away from you several steps.
“L-L-Listen, buddy,” the first bull stammers, “you can have as many of my cows as you want. All of them, if you like. Just don’t hurt me.”
“What?” you exclaim. “I don’t want your...”
“You can have my cows, too” the second bull interjects. “Every one of them. I don’t want any trouble.”
“Hey, guys, you don’t...” you begin, but then the third bull interrupts. Instead of cowering before you like the other bulls, however, the third (and smallest) bull paws the ground and snorts ferociously and thrusts his horns at you. He appears to be challenging you to a fight.
“What are you doing?” the first bull cries to the third bull. “The new guy will kill you! Just give him your cows!”
“He can have the cows!” the third bull retorts. “I just want him to know that I’M a bull!”
“Oh, brother,” you think, rolling your eyes.
Written by Funny Animal
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