Jennifer does porrage

"You're in a lot of trouble, Goldilocks!" says Papa bear.

"I'm not Goldilocks!" pleads Jennifer "My name is Jennifer McCowen! The door was open and I thought the house was abandoned! Please don't hurt me!"

"We're not savage creatures," says Papa bear "But we cannot allow you to go unpunished."

"So you're of Scottish descent eh, McCowen?" you muse, a plan forming in your head "The Scots are famed for their porrage." You turn to the bears "I suggest that Goldilocks McCowen stays here to do community service, cooking up porrage for you bears."

"What?!?" gasps Jennifer

"Excellent Idea!" says Papa Bear as he unties her "And don't you go running away girl, we bears can outrun you!"

"And you can sleep with me!" says Mama bear "I'll be nice having something to cuddle!"

"This isn't happening!" moans Jennifer "I'm still dreaming, yes. I'll wake up..."

Written by AR Jackson

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