Step 1.

You can't believe what you've just done; you've agreed to take on all a thousand-and-something pounds of Rufus' fat. Oh well- at least you'll be warm during winter.

"Here we go, then." says the leprechaun. He claps his hands.

"Whoa, wait. Clapping? Don't you just snap your fingers?" you ask.

"This is a big job, laddie. Clapping gives more power." replies the leprechaun.

"Really?"

"No, it just looks better." the leprechaun grins.

"Very funny. just get this over and done with, okay?"

The leprechaun claps his hands again, and green dust appears and surrounds both you and Rufus. It covers your entire body, and then sinks beneath your skin. You watch Rufus, and the same thing happens to him. You can almost feel the magic dust running through your veins and multiplying itself to fill your entire body. Your skin even takes on a green tinge. You're having second thoughts about this.

"And here we go." says the leprechaun. Too late.

You immediately double over in pain as the leprechaun's dust begins its work. You clutch your stomach and groan as the magic works its way into the deepest parts of your body. The pain slowly recedes, leaving you dripping with sweat.

"Step 1." says the leprechaun cheerfully. He smiles at you like you're on a ride at an amusement park.

"Shut up." you pant. "How big did you say I was going to get again?" you ask.

"I didn't!" sings the pixie. He sees the look on your face, though, and quickly says, "around 1354 pounds, laddie." You stare at him in shock. Before you can respond, however, he checks his watch. "Step 2 is about to begin!" he chants.

"Oh brother." you mutter.

Written by Someone who writes

'He did say all of his weight...' 2 hours later

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