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LOOK OUT HE'S GONNA SHOOT Y-- oh wait, never mind.

You raise your hands defensively, and your mind races for an excuse. "I, uh, got lost in the woods and found your place. Sorryforintrudingillbegoingnow..."

The hunter lowers his gun and laughs. "Nonsense! Come on, sit down. I wanna talk with ya."

You're surprised by his sudden change in attitude, but you sit down on one of the couches - he seems friendly enough. The hunter seats himself in the chair across from you, which painfully creaks under his large frame. He pulls a large cigar and a lighter from his pockets, then leans back in his (still groaning) chair and lights it. After filling most of the room with thick, black smoke, the hunter addresses you.

"It took ya long enough. What's with the delay?"

You laugh. "I don't really understand."

The hunter sighs and pulls a letter from another pocket, and reads it aloud. "Dear Mr. Beartenhurt, we will be sendin' yer replacement on Monday. Thank ya for yer service to the cause, and you will be rewarded once the exchange is done. Sincerely, The Woods Council." He folds the letter up and puts it back in his pocket. "It's Wednesday. What took yer so long?"

"I'm sorry Mister Beartenhurt, but I think you have the wrong man - I have no idea what any of this means!"

"Just call me Bear." The hunter says. "And that's a part of the brief! All the new recruits are randomly selected, and sent to the cabin to replace the old hunter. I.e. me." Bear sighs and gets out of his chair, then walks over to you. "Do you want to know how long I've waited for this?

"Not really--"

"10 years! Ten stinkin' years in this hairy, overweight body. And only two changes of clothes. I haven't had a decent wash in ages!" 'Bear' grabs you by the collar and hoists you into the air, despite your protests. "And I'm sick of it! So here ya go - welcome to the job, Mr. Beartenhurt!" He pulls the cigar out of his mouth and stuffs it into yours, then drops you onto the ground.

By the time you manage to rip the cigar from your mouth, you've already inhaled a huge amount of the smoke - it tastes foul, and sends you into a violent coughing fit. Your entire body feels tingly. You look up at the hunter, who seems to be doing something...


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