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Getting around... no pun intended

You look around, trying to gauge what room you landed in. You can see the hole above you which lets light in, but it reflects off the dust that has been disturbed by your abrupt entrance. You step out of the spotlight and see stone walls, which seems to indicate you've landed in a basement, or a dungeon, considering this is a castle. You move to the door, and open it, hoping it has stairs leading up to the upper level. Unfortunately, it seems to lead downward. Looks like you have to navigate the lower levels if you want to get back up. You try to squeeze through the door, but find yourself too wide, your stomach and thighs bloated as they are push into the sides, making the process hard. "Ed, you are on a diet." you say to him angrily as you worm your way through, wishing you had a stick of butter or something.

When you finally pop free, your center of gravity pulls you forward, causing you to roll. Normally this would be fine, if not for the stairs, which you promptly start rolling down like an out of control marble. You heavy padding protects you, but by the time you get to the bottom, your head is spinning. "What is all that racket," yawns Cornelius as he finally wakes. He looks around and sees the dungeon. "What have you two been up to, and what is this balloon doing on top of us?" he says, trying to push your stomach out of the way, but then realizes the balloon is yourselves. "What did I say!?" he says, "I hope your happy with this Ed, do you realize how hard losing this much weight is going to be, not mention the health implications?" he rants for a bit clearly upset by this. "I'm Hungry," says Ed once he has finished.

"Yeah, your always hungry!" you yell at Ed, "We get it! All you want to do is eat, and now we can barely move because you gotta stuff us until we're bursting. Would you think of something besides eating for once and do something useful for a change!" Ed recoils, clearly shaken by what you said. You try getting up, but right now you have no arm control. "Cornelius, help us get up." you say, still angry because of this. Cornelius tries, but is unable to do so, your girth having exceeded the strength of one arm to shift. Surprisingly though, Ed begins trying to help, and slowly you manage to get to your feet.

You begin waddling your way through the hall, hindered by narrow passages, where your sides slide against the walls, threatening to trap you if you lose your footing, slowing you to a shuffle. Eventually you get to an intersection. A set of stairs go up, another goes down, while another hall just continues onward.

"Which way?" you say aloud. Cornelius is quick to respond, "Well, logically, if we are trying to go up, the stairs would be the correct route." he says. But Ed shakes his head, "That way," he says, pointing to the stairs heading down. Given your past experience, Ed would be the last one you would trust, then again, he is your instincts, he may have picked up on something you don't. but Cornelius is usually the more reliable one here. Or you could just keep going forward.


Written by an anonymous author

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