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Help! I don't want to live like this!

You look at the lizard man, take a deep breath, and say, "The Romanian castle ruins, which I presume is where you got ssucked into a ssswirling vortex which took you to the Countessss... were actually just a cover for the Countessss' true sssecret basse. She hasss been kidnapping people, I believe, for sssome time now and the truth of the matter at hand isss a lot more pathetic and cruel than you think." He replies in a very anxious voice, "What isss the truth?", to which you answer, "The truth isss we have all been abducted by a very powerful and extremely sskilled ssorceressss ssimply ssso she can usse usss all asss her guinea pigs for her grotessssque and sssick chimeric experimentsss. Then, either ensslave usss or usse usss asss the insstrumentsss of her perverted amussement". The young lizard man doesn't take this very well; he almost looks as though he's seen a ghost.

A few minutes go by, and the lizard man hasn't said a word after you told him the depth of the situation. You decide to break the silence by starting a new topic: "So... what creature have you been turned into?"

The lizard man pulls a disgusted face and painfully replies, "I... I've been turned into a... a Gila Monster." You pull a puzzled face and reply, "Gila 'Monster'?"

"Yesss. A small, bulky sspeciesss of venomouss lizard that hasss ssome mythology behind it or ssomething. I think that isss why itss name hasss 'Monsster' in it." Then he looks you square in the eye and says, "But what about the dilemma I'm in? When or how can I get turned back?"

You look at him sadly and say, "I... I'm sssorry... but you can never get your old life back. None of usss can. Our transsformationsss are i..irreverssible".

The Gila man takes a few steps back with a look of total horror on his face. "N... n... noooo...!" You turn away from him, the full and terrible reality of your own words hitting you as you say, to him and to yourself, "We are sstuck like thisss permanently..." You screw your face up and bury your face in your hands miserably as you hear the Gila man over your shoulder, still stuttering in a horrified manner, "Nooo...no,n..no...please, no... no,no,no..."

Ten or so minutes pass, and the Gila man has stopped moaning and stuttering. You look up to see that he is still the only one out of the six transparent cells to be conscious besides you. You decide that until everyone else has woken up, you might as well carry on talking. "What'sss your name, anyway?" to which the Gila man, still crouched on the floor, replies gloomily, "Fingal". You carry on by asking, "Ssso... how great did your bosss ssay the report would be?" He looks up, confused. "What do you mean?"

"You know. How much did your bosss ssay you needed to check thisss sstory out?"

He replies, even more confusedly, "I don't know what you mean..."

"Are you a reporter that came to thesse Romanian ruinsss to check out and ssee what you could find for a newssspaper?" "No", he replies, "I am a tourissst that wasss forced to come with my uncle to thisss godforssaken country as a holiday. I heard rumoursss that a great magical secret lay in the ruins. Sseeing asss I have alwaysss been a believer in the ssupernatural, I went to the ruinsss sseeking my fortune..." Fingal bows his head to his knees again and starts moaning. "How was I supposed to know I'd get more than I bargained for?" To which you rub your forehead and say, "Oh... Oh boy. You poor ssod... you're REALLY up the creek here, aren't you?" He moans again. "Yes!!"


Written by Red Robert (edited by wanderer)

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