Why do these things happen to me?

Later that night, as you dream serenely of a life in which you don't suddenly have reality turned upside down by talking wolves named Fred, you're suddenly jarred awake ... by a full-throated, female-voiced scream from next door! Knocking aside your slippers as you leap from the bed, you race into the living room, where you left Fred. After all, whatever's going on over there, you're likely to need help. And the fangs of a large, talking wolf can be a lot of help!

"Fred, did you hear ... ?" But you get no farther, for there, on the couch you've set up for Fred's sleeping arrangement, you find nothing but a rumpled sheet and some shed gray fur. Oh, well, you think as you grab an old baseball bat from the hall closet, It was worth a try.

Still wishing you weren't alone in this, you cross your dew-soaked yard at a dead run and knock on the neighbor's door. "Hello?", you call, "Is everything all right?" Your questions receive no answer but a strange noise, like a strong wind, that seems to vibrate through the entire house, including the porch beneath your wet feet. Unable to immediately remember who the neighbor is that lives here, you decide to risk breaking down the door. With a brief prayer that nobody's going to shoot at you, you throw your shoulder against the door once, twice, three times ...

With a sound that reminds you of your grandfather's old woodcutting axe, you burst through the door, landing heavily on your side. Rubbing your sore shoulder, you stand ... and gape.

The foyer, where you now stand, is in perfect order. But the den, not five feet away, lies in shambles. A picture window at the back of the house stands open to the elements, the glass lying in pieces alongside the remains of a coffee table and what's left of a rather pretty table lamp. And the strange noise is getting louder ... it's enough to make you grit your teeth at the irritating sound.

The, suddenly ... you hear it.

Growling.

Following the canine warning sound, you dash to the master bedroom (being careful to jump over the sharp ceramic pieces of the shattered lamp), and arrive in what looks like a scene from a science-fiction movie.

Hovering a short distance above the bed, a strange blue circle pulsates with an eerie light. More important than that, though, is the woman's body currently halfway through it, the upper regions obscured by the light as though she were sticking through some sort of curtain. Atop the bed, struggling valiantly to hold on to the woman's nightgown, is Fred, jaws locked and feet set as though he was pulling against a herd of moose in tug-of-war. Like a shot, you jump forward and grab the woman's ankle, earning a glance from Fred as he continues to pull back.

Then, with an immense burst of the strange windlike sound, the woman jolts forward, pulling both you and Fred with her through the light. As you tumble, you feel your hand open, clutching empty space as you fall ... fall ... fall ...

You awaken on a bed of springy ferns, with an overwhelming headache, and Fred standing watch over you. He sighs audibly as you push your way up to a sitting position. "Had me worried there for a minute", he tells you. "You've been out for about an hour."

"Where is she?", you ask ... and then you look around. You sit in the middle of a jungle-thick forest. "Hey ... where are we?"

"You've got me", Fred grumbles, "on both counts. I haven't even seen that lady since we landed."

"Lan- ... Fred, you're hurt!", you cry, noticing a streak of dried blood down his right hindleg. He snorts.

"That's nothing. I got that coming through the window."

"Coming through the ... that was you?"

"Hey", he replies defensively, "I heard the lady start screaming, so I ran over through the backyard ... that stick in the door doesn't work too well, by the way ... and jumped in through the nearest window. Just my luck", he almost growls, "she had a table lamp in front of the window."

You decide laughing at the idea of how he landed isn't a good idea. "So what happened?"

"Well, I ran in there just when her head went through the light, and I grabbed her. I'd've called out when you came thundering through the door", he adds, "but not having hands made that kinda hard."

"Well, at least we're safe for right now", you sigh, scratching idly at your shoulder and shifting in place. You don't know what it is, but something's been itching at you since you woke up, especially on your shoulders and backside. Shoving aside one edge of your pajamas' collar, you look for a scratch or an insect bite ... and find fur.

Gray fur.

Just ... like ...

You look at Fred, panic written in your expression. "Um, Fred?"

He ducks his head, looking rather guilty. "I was kinda hoping you wouldn't ask."

"Am ... am I ... ?"

"As far as I can tell", he grudgingly allows. "At least you smell like a wolf to me ... and please don't ask how I know. I don't want to think about it."

"Great", you mumble, "just great."

"Um ... and ... "

"And what?"

"Well, you kinda smell ... female?"

FEMALE!?

Written by Commander Darkstar (edited by wanderer)

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