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'Tis the teaching of my book of etiquette!

The crowd looks somewhat alarmed. A small, shifty-eyed man looks at you cautiously, and says, "Quite an illusion. Quite an illusion." The maid who was pestering you shouts in indignation, "It didn't feel like one to me!" Koko calms everybody down, and hands you a small book. He has underlined a sentence. You begin reading, straining to make out the fine print.

"Titipu Code of Conduct:

Rule 1a: To flirt is capital.

Rule 1b: Sentence for above crime: BEHEADING

..."

You skip to the underlined sentence.

"Rule 9032zx, section iv: Transforming into a firebreathing monster in public is a serious breach of etiquette. 1st offense punishment: reprimand. 2nd offense punishment: beheading. There is generally no third offense."

Hmm. They behead you for everything? You read a bit more, and discover that for certain crimes, there are alternatives to decapitation. For example, wrongdoers can have all of their teeth extracted by terrified amateur dentists or be forced to sing for hours to Madame Tussaud's waxworks. The Mikado is a strict man, and probably a bit sadistic as well. Koko turns to you and speaks:

"Please don't do that again. If I try to behead a dragon, somebody could get hurt. I might have to insist on you decapitating yourself. Anyway, we need an entertainer for the Mikado's parade and march, and we don't have a Second Trombone. As you are a conjurer, you could be of some use. If you assist us, the remuneration will be quite substantial."


Written by The Lord High Executioner

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