Bambi, is that you?

Fearful of falling objects, you go back outside, figuring that you can stay just as dry in the shadow of the castle walls. Judging from the ground beneath them, you reason that only a flood would cause water to wash over it. You lean against the puddingstone building and gaze out into the surrounding woods.

You see greenery as you never before have known it: proud evergreens that seem to assert themselves through subtle actions. Chipmunks and squirrels that dart back and forth noiselessly. And . . . uh . . .

You freeze. Directly before you is what at first looks like a deer. It has auburn fur with white spots and a graceful, almost swanlike body underneath, its four legs notwithstanding. Its head, though, looks like something out of a nightmare. Its huge eyes are not a soft brown, but an eerie chartreuse which burns like hellfire. Its mouth forms a leer that seems unholy. Without knowing the precise reason, you are consumed by such a fear that you nearly die on the spot of natural causes. How do you recover your senses and broach the situation?

Written by Joey Liverwurst

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